Picture of Jack Maturin sleeping rough at Lagos Airport, Nigeria, outside the 'Cockpit Bar', during the last British Airways strike |
traffic stress |
she was sleeping tight on public transportation |
Sleep couples in lester Ho Japan |
The stress levels in Nigeria can reach alarming levels. In no other nation on earth, could you experience the joys and frustrations of living at the same time. You could be stuck in gridlocked traffic, look out of your car window and see an act that would make you smile or cry – like complete strangers helping a driver to jump-start a faulty car.
We deal with so much in a typical day – traffic scrambles, work, business hustles, power outages etc etc. Insomnia, while it is a word that most may have heard about, is not something that you would ascribe to the typical Nigerian.
Here, it is presumed that once you have a roof over your head and can afford a decent Mouka or Vitafoam ‘mattrass’, then you should be able to catch 40 winks. If you buy and lay a bed, then you should lie on it and shut your eyes. Only ‘winches’ and ‘armed robbers’ stay awake at night.
However, you find yourself up nowadays, sleepless and anxious, starring at the roof tiles and the swoosh of my ceiling fan. There are many things that would keep someone awake on a hot Nigerian night. There are many; please share yours:
·
Baygon and Shelltox defying mosquitoes singing
in my ear and biting lumps out of me – I can’t go to sleep.
·
Noisy inconsiderate neighbors having an Owambe
party on the street, with Ayefele music blasting from huge speakers – I can’t
go to sleep.
·
‘Man Shall Not Live By Bread’ Ministries holding
a ‘By Fire, By Thunder’ revival vigil next door – I can’t go to sleep.
·
The sound of the exchange of gunfire in the distance,
between OPC agents and robbers is just like a scene from Rambo 2 – I nor fit
sleep o.
·
Our transformer blew up and has not be
functional for 2 months now, so I am in pitch darkness, and starting to make
out gruesome figures in the dark – how I go fit sleep?
·
The loud clank and stutter of my neighbour’s
‘Pure Water’ plant as he produces sachets for sale day and night in a room in
his flat, in defiance of NAFDAC – I can’t go to sleep.
·
Free Glo midnight calls from cheapskate dates
who would never spend a penny – I can’t go to sleep
·
Writhing from side to side, thinking of
elaborate schemes to come up with the cash to pay 2 years rent even though my
salary is only paid monthly – I can’t go to sleep
·
Staying awake to check my window every now and
again because the mai-guard sleeps on duty instead of doing his job – I can’t
go to sleep
·
Remembering the deaths of the brave NYSC corpers
murdered in cold blood last week, and those of them still stuck behind enemy
lines – I can’t sleep at all
·
The roar and fumes of my neighbour’s ‘I better
pass my neighbour’ generator from just outside my window despite the fact we
agreed that he should install a silencer – I can’t go to sleep.
·
The
groans and moans coming from Mr. Okafor’s window as he loads his wife again for
the umpteenth time this night, even though the number of children they have are
almost a complete football team – I can’t go to sleep.
·
The putrid smell of fried fish mixed with the
bad ooze of stagnant gutter coming from the opposite “Face Me, I Face You’ building
– I can’t go to sleep
·
Etisalat sending uncountable ‘balance reminder’
or ‘marketing information’ SMS messages at all hours of the day – I can’t go to
sleep.
·
They have laid off most of the workers in my
department, except the Boss’s girlfriend and people from his village; I may be
next – I can’t go to sleep
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