The actress, while speaking on a recent episode of the Dear Ife podcast, admitted that she previously had a habit of “inheriting” the disagreements, grudges and personal conflicts of people close to her. According to her, she often took sides in disputes involving friends, acquaintances and colleagues without first listening to the other party’s perspective.
Aiyeola explained that her decision to distance herself from such situations came after she experienced a painful lesson. She said she once supported someone in a personal feud, only for the two parties to later resolve their differences, leaving her feeling like an outsider.
“I have been in a situation where I have taken a fight that are not mine. I do inherit my friends’ beef to an extent. I have done that before. Not just for people who are my best friends but also for acquaintances and colleagues. I did it even without hearing from the other person,” she said.
The actress added that the experience taught her the importance of allowing people to handle their personal disagreements themselves rather than automatically becoming involved.
“But I have also been in a situation where I inherited someone’s fight and then they eventually settled and I became the outsider. So, I told myself it’s not everybody’s fight and beef that I would inherit,” she stated.
While Aiyeola acknowledged that she no longer expects friends to take up her personal battles, she noted that there are certain boundaries she considers important in friendships, especially when it involves former romantic partners.
She explained that although she does not demand that people carry her grudges, she would find it difficult to maintain a friendship with someone who becomes close to a former fiancé or dates someone she had a serious relationship with.
“I don’t expect people to inherit my beef but if I have an ex-fiance and my best friend decides to bond with him, we are not friends. I have cut ties with men who were dating and quarrelling with my best friends,” she said.
The actress’s comments highlight her evolving perspective on loyalty, boundaries and emotional responsibility, as she learns to separate genuine support for loved ones from becoming personally involved in conflicts that do not belong to her.