Is it a crime to
fall in love? That is exactly the question that Mrs. Folasade Esther (surname
withheld by us) has asked herself a million times. She has been seeking an
answer after her heartthrob, who works with an oil company in Akwa Ibom State,
reportedly turned his back on her and their two children to marry a lover he
met on Facebook. Daily Sun gathered that when Folasade, a physically challenged
lady, got married, most people thought it was a marriage made in heaven.
Unfortunately, the
one-time happy union later turned to hell on earth. Although the bride counts
herself blessed for having two lovely children, she does not hide the fact that
the six-year-old marriage had brought her more tears than joy.
Folasade said her
husband, who she met 15 years ago in Lagos, suddenly broke his marital vows after
battering her for years. The proof of her agony could be seen on her body, full
of indelible scars from bruises allegedly inflicted on her by her husband.
Folasade said she bore her sorrows in uncomplaining meekness, casting her hopes
on the Christian assurance that all would be well again. More after cut:
To her
disappointment, things got worse. Her heroic endurance was shattered recently
when the father of her children fell into the arms of another woman on the
social interactive site, Facebook. Since then, things fell apart, as he
allegedly subjected her to rounds of beatings and starvation.
Grieved by the
incident, the young lady recounted with tears how she laboured for five days in
the hospital for the delivery of her baby, regretting that her husband neither
showed up nor called. She said his uncaring attitude at that time was a clear
message that he had something up his sleeves.
“He never called
to ask after my condition. I was later transferred to the General Hospital, Uyo
and they had to carry out a caesarean section on me. By then, the baby was so
weak and it passed away the next day,” she lamented. With songs of sorrow on
her lips, Folasade's hypertensive condition has deteriorated so badly that she
has to live on drugs. Struggling with a crutch to support her disabled leg in
the face of her present health crisis and at the same time fending for her two
under-aged children has left the 36-year-old lady truly traumatised.
She told the
reporter that she had to wash her dirty linen in public because her husband
made her life so miserable. On whether they were live-in-lovers, she said they
got married in the law court six years ago. “We were in courtship for several
years. During the courtship, I got pregnant for him and gave birth to my son.
Later, we wedded legally at the Akwa Ibom registry in 2007, about six years
ago.
I have already had
my son before that court marriage. My son will be 10 next month. After the
court marriage, I gave birth to a baby girl,” she said. Folasade said trouble
slipped into her marriage when her husband started dating a strange woman on
Facebook. According to her, the new lover was a divorcee and mother of four
children. “Our problem started when they started online dating. Last time, I
went to give birth to my baby at UK.
That was about
three years ago. I noticed that anytime I travelled, the lady would come over
to my marital home and stay with my husband. I have been noticing other changes
in my husband's attitude towards me. So, I started suspecting my husband.
It is a case of a
dog that wags its tail whenever it sees you, but all of a sudden, it will see
you and start barking. I knew that something was wrong,” she said. Folasade
said her curiosity to find out the problem from her husband earned her
merciless beatings.
The case got worse
whenever she summoned courage to complain to his friends and relatives,
pleading with them to intercede on her behalf. Such step, she said, won her
more beatings and the stoppage of the N30,000 monthly feeding allowance for the
entire family.
Folasade said she
did everything to make her marriage work and possibly win back her husband's
love but her matrimonial home kept falling apart.
She said her husband, at a point, abandoned
her and the kids for about a month, leaving them without any money for their
feeding. “When these troubles began, I called some of his bosses to explain,
pleading with them to talk to him. But anytime I called his friends to help us
make peace, things would get worse. I noticed that if his family tried to talk
to him, he would never listen. He is the breadwinner of the house, so, nobody
can fault his actions. If they don't support him, then, he will starve them
too.”
The aggrieved
mother said the height of her agony came on May 15 when he turned her to a
punching bag. Aside battering her, she narrated how she became a public
spectacle when her husband allegedly tore her clothes to shreds and threw her
outside the gates of their house at night.
She had to seek refuge at the Police Station,
Eket, she said. According to her, she reported the matter to the police at
Eket, while some Good Samaritans provided clothes to cover her nudity. “The
police came to arrest him but he refused to open the door.
The way he beat
me, I couldn't see anything, not even my phone. I was tattered when I got to
the police station at Eket. The police came back again but he refused to open
the door. He later called the DPO to complain that armed robbers came to his
house to rob him. He saw the officers that came in police uniform but he turned
the whole story around, calling them armed robbers,” she said.
When he finally
showed up at the Police Station, Folasade said the Divisional Police Officer
(DPO) ordered him to take her to the hospital for treatment.
But she said he only drove her home and left
for work. She said her agony worsened in the night when his lover came to their
house with another lady and they slept with her husband in the bedroom.
Folasade said she and her children had to sleep in another room. But she was
yet to experience the worst.
According to her,
she was returning from the hospital on Friday, May 17, where she had gone to
treat her wounds, when she sighted a big truck in their compound. Her husband,
aided by his Facebook lover and the woman's sister, allegedly removed every
item in the house. Not even her personal belongings or those of her children
were spared, she said. Folasade said she kept her distance to avoid further
trouble. And when the truck drove off, she walked into an empty house where, in
her words, she wailed in agony. When it dawned on her that her tears could not
restore her lost fortunes, she hurriedly went to pick her children from school
and they left their home empty handed.
“There is nothing
I brought out of my house. Not even my underwear were left for me. I lost
everything. My children had nothing to wear expect the school uniform they wore
to school on that day. It is as bad as that,” she said.
When our reporter contacted the husband on the
telephone, he said he wouldn't join issues with his wife on the pages of a
newspaper. Further attempts to persuade him to open up met a brick wall, as he
abruptly hung up.
Although the husband has chosen to be silent,
Folasade is shouting at the rooftop. She is calling on human rights groups,
association of physically challenged persons, Ministry of Women Affairs and
other relevant agencies to fight for her.
With her two
children by her side, the task of building from ground zero seemed daunting.
But she had vowed never to allow the custody of her two children in the hands
of a strange woman that lured her husband away from their marital home. “I am
handicapped. There is little I can do. He should take care of his children.
He should provide
money for the training of these children. I want to beg human rights groups,
the association of physically challenged persons and concerned activists to
save me from the hands of this man that subjected me to all these abuses over
the years.
He turned me to a
punching bag, starving me and throwing my children and I out of the house. He
believed there is nothing I have or that there is nothing I can do. But I have
God,” she said.
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