It would be disheartening to know that despite a lot of sexual education in churches, the internet and in social gatherings, some Nigerians still struggle to achieve this height of sexual stimulation and excitement.
The research report had discovered that some women fake orgasms during sex in order to increase their own arousal, especially where they were not initially in the mood for sex.
The research report published in the Journal of Sexual Archives by researchers from Temple University and Kenyon College said pretending to enjoy sex could actually turn the experience into a pleasurable one.
After a study of 481 heterosexual women, who were sexually active but not in committed relationships, the researchers found four reasons for faking orgasm, and, according to The Independent, these include: altruistic deceit (faking it out of concern for a partner’s feelings, fear and insecurity (faking it to avoid negative emotions associated with the sexual experience), elevated arousal (attempting to increase one’s own arousal through faking orgasm), and sexual adjournment (faking orgasm to end sex).
However, the most common reason was faking orgasm to avoid hurting their sexual partner’s feelings and ego.
A Nigerian lawyer, who gave her name simply as Temitope, confirmed that women in the country majorly fake orgasm during sex, but that this was either out of fear of what the man would think of them or to hasten the man into concluding the act.
“I have sometimes faked orgasms, but please don’t tell my husband oh!” she said amid laughter.
“For me, I love my husband, but sometimes when he demands for sex and I am tired but want to satisfy him, all I do is allow him start and after a short while, I would fake an orgasm.
“He’s very excited to know that I have come. So he would hasten up to reach his own orgasm.”
A female banker with one of the new generation banks in the Ogba area of Lagos, explained that faking orgasm, for women, was not abnormal.
“There are situations where you fake orgasms just to please your man. Sometimes too, as you fake orgasm, you find yourself truly experiencing it within seconds afterwards.
“The first few times I had sex with my fiance, I had to fake it because I noticed that during the act, he did not often last longer than I wanted. But he was the kind of man I wanted.
“Since I am more sexually educated because I read a lot, I knew it was because of anxiety. So I patiently assisted him build his sexual confidence. Now, he is very good in bed,” she said.
Giving her explanation while chatting with our correspondent on Eskimi, a flirting site on the internet, 29 year-old Philo, said she had faked orgasm a couple of times.
“Men are the reasons for faking orgasm most time. Nigerian men do not understand the phrase: ‘I am tired’. Some don’t even know how to put women in the mood.
“So, what women do is allow the man enter and after a minute, pretend that you have experienced orgasm. The man would think he has won.
“I left my last relationship because I wasn’t getting the sexual satisfaction I needed. Anytime I complained, the guy felt I was too spoilt.
“I later thought that it would be dangerous getting married to him because there is no way I won’t cheat on him,” she said asking the reporter, who pretended to be a bachelor, if he was sexually strong enough to date her.
When asked on Badoo, another flirting site, if she had ever faked orgasm, Helen Chijoke, said: “you should even ask me if I have experienced it before.”
Mrs. Ijeoma Umuchi, who said she counsels married women, disclosed that many married women do not even know what the experience looks like.
She added that some marriages have crashed as a result of lack of sexual “enjoyment”.
“You would be surprised that some of these divorce cases you hear about is as a result of this.
“Some women have only heard of orgasm and have not experienced it. Where such a woman now decides to experiment with another man and she experiences it, you can imagine what would happen next in the family,” she said.
Medical experts have also disclosed that female genital mutilation (also known as circumcision) and rape are some of the reasons women find it difficult to experience orgasm.
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