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    Tuesday, May 10, 2016

    6 Things That Shows Women Are Sometimes the Main Cause of Domestic Violence

    Photos of Susan Peters depicting domestic violence against women
    After decades of ignoring domestic violence, Nigerian have finally learnt to condemn it.  We say we’re horrified, and wonder what could possibly make a man hurt a woman he claims to love. Does he drink? Take drugs? Was he stressed, unemployed, frustrated? Did she provoke him? What could make a man lose control like that? There must be some reason for it.
    The woman looks for reasons too, which is why it can take her so long to realise she’s being abused. He’s jealous because he loves me. He doesn’t like me going out because he’s overprotective. He’s got a temper, but everyone’s got their demons – he just needs a strong woman to help him overcome them. On average, a woman will endure 35 assaults before she makes her first complaint. In the meantime, she’ll make as many excuses for his behaviour as we do.

    “People really struggle to understand that for family violence to be present, there are two key attributes to it. One of them is that one party is in fear of the other. The other is that the abuser uses a planned, systematic approach to remove a person’s confidence, support networks and independence in order to highlight their own power and control within the relationship.”

    Most people have arguments with the person they love. It’s normal to feel jealous, say things you regret, even scream the house down. It only becomes domestic violence when this is bent towards controlling the other person, in a way that provokes fear.

    It is no longer news that many women have lost their lives through domestic violence and the more we try to put the blames on the men the more we will continue to blind our eyes to the fact that indeed, many women atimes are the cause of the domestic violence we see today because they fail to understand some important aspects of how most men are naturally weird and below are 6 facts that point to this…

    1.Negligence:
    This is one fact many ladies will not deny because there is no accidental character and the signs of a violent man would have been there. It is quite amazing that many ladies get beaten up by a guy they are dating and this guy will still go ahead and become their hubby and i keep wondering what these ladies were thinking saying I do to a guy who beats you up. Many ladies usually believe such guys will change but the honest truth is that a guy who beats you up while dating you may kill you when he becomes your hubby. RUN.

    2.Sophistication:
    Many people will wonder what this has to do with domestic violence but it has a whole lot to do with it. Sophistication is the bane of today’s woman and the number one reason why many ladies find it hard to get a man to settle down with. Many ladies are too sophisticated to come to terms with the fact that they are married,they still want to live a life of a spinster while married and these set of ladies will not hesitate to tell their hubby the need for him to help out in the kitchen,the need for him to cook his food and even take care of the baby and subconsciously, these ladies gradually bruise the ego of the man who may continue to stomach these things until he gets pushed to the wall and reacts in a violent way.
    No matter how highly placed or sophisticated you may be as a lady,please understand that you are a wife and a mother and you must learn how to joggle these roles without turning your hubby into a domestic servant…if he decides to help out please let it be his decision.

    3. Misguided utterance:
    This is a very common fact among the women folk and it is so sad that many ladies do not even realize they are guilty of this because they just might believe they are making sense not knowing that they are bruising the man’s ego and killing him bit by bit mentally and emotionally. Misguided speech sometimes come in a very subtle way from the lady who may have no clue. For instance a lady footing the bills telling her hubby that “she can not go out all day and still come home to please him sexually” or “he can not satisfy you sexually”, or funny words like“you should be thanking GOD for having me cos there are better guys out there” bla bla bla common…. A man is an egocentric person and any word that bruises his ego could bring out the beast in him.

    4.Infidelity:
    This account for many cases of domestic violence leading to death. Yes men cheat as well as ladies but as a lady please be extremely careful when it comes to sexual infidelity. Scientists have proved that the effect of hard drugs on human is the same effect a heart break gives. If you must cheat on your man or hubby please I advice you just break up with such first rather than staying in that affair and cheating because the resultant effect is always a dangerous one.

    5.Use of abusive words:
    This is no doubt one reason why many gentle men have turned wife beaters.There are some women who can use their tongue to set a house on fire and you need to hear how some ladies speak to their spouses.
    Many ladies are very erratic in speech and it is not all men that are gentle or can walk away as men are always advised.Please ladies,learn to bridle your tongues to avoid stories that touch…be submissive, be humble.be calm in your speech and avoid getting confrontational because men hate confrontations…remember…not every man is a gentle man so try to always. maintain a status quo. Understand when to keep quiet to avoid heated arguments which usually leads to violent reactions from the man.

    6.Gullibility:
    Yes many ladies are very gullible when it comes to handling domestic violence.There are some guys who just make it a crazy habit beating up a lady at any slight opportunity even if the lady exhibits an angelic nature. If a man beats you once,assume its a mistake but if he tries it again,please don’t go back to your parents or waste your time reporting him to family members..go to the police immediately to report him and let him be invited to write an undertaken never to touch you again while you also maintain a proper decorum but if his madness persists,please leave that marriage or relationship immediately whether you have a child for him or not…it is better to remain single and happy than to lose your life.
    Gullible ladies who have listened to funny advices from family members to remain in a violent marriage for whatever reason are not 6 feet below….Be reasonable.

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