WHY MARRIED MEN VISIT PROSTITUTES

What are the motives which lead a married man, often with an attractive and “willing” wife, to patronize a common woman of the street?

1. Others simply want a different individual from the one with whom they participated a day ago or a week ago. The quickest and easiest way for many of these males to find a different partner is to patronize a prostitute.

2. In many instances, husbands who do not normally need sexual variety find they have no wish to remain abstinent when they are separated from their wives, when their wives are ill, or when they desire intercourse more frequently than the wives do. Again, resort to prostitutes may be easier in these instances than engaging in extramarital affairs.

3. Some men who crave variety feel that patronizing prostitutes is safer, less involving, and more loyal than having non-prostitutional affairs; and in many instances their wives agree with this viewpoint and tolerate their seeing a prostitute far better than they would tolerate a non-prostitutional relationship.

4. A surprisingly large number of men, I have found in my clinical experience, fail miserably in their marital relationships, largely because of their ignorance and prudery in regard to how to satisfy their wives sexually.

Such men are frequently impotent or sexually below par because, consciously or unconsciously, they subscribe to self-defeating sex notions which sabotage their powers and potentialities. Out of shame, they avoid having marital relations and resort to prostitutes with whom, because they pay, they are not ashamed to be poor lovers.

5. Occasionally, a man's wife refuses to use proper birth control technique; and, rather than have intercourse with her and risk having unwanted children, he patronizes women of the streets.

6. Some men's wives are so stingy of affection, and demand so much in return for having steady sex relations, that the male finds it actually cheaper and less emotionally blackmailing to visit prostitutes.

7. Once in a while, a man becomes deeply attached to a prostitute and keeps patronizing her, rather than bedding with his wife, because he genuinely cares for her and enjoys her company more than that of his spouse.

8. Some men, particularly those with low self-esteem, ignore the monetary element in their patronage of harlots, and convince themselves that they are making one real conquest after another in the course of such patronage. To them, even a paid “conquest” is satisfying.

9. Many husbands, for a number of neurotic reasons, occasional- ly or steadily visit prostitutes. Some thus vent their hostility against their wives. Others masochistically want to degrade themselves. Others find it impossible to be fully potent with a “good” woman. Still others seek the danger of an illicit encounter.

For a host of fearful, hostile, or guilt-laden reasons, or to erect defenses against their underlying irrational anxieties, such individuals find temporary “solutions” to their problems by bedding with a prostitute.

In general, then, a married man will resort to prostitutional affairs either for relatively sane reasons such as the sexual inaccessibility of his wifeor for irrational ones such as his unwillingness to face the real reasons for his being sexually unsatisfied in marriage.

April 05, 2011