Married
Life
Being brought up
within a heavy Anglican tradition, the marital bedroom along with the conjugal
bed was part of my idea for a perfect marriage. I used to see with horror and
sadness those couples who no longer shared a bedroom and had separate beds.
With time, my views on the matter have changed and as I have met more and more
couples who have healthy and loving marriages and do not share the same bedroom
I decided to explore the reasons behind it.
Why
would you want to sleep in separate bedrooms?
For a better
sleep. Sharing a bed with someone who snores, has restless legs, takes all the
covers, brings work or food to bed and watches the TV until early hours in the
morning is not easy to say the least. To have a good night sleep is not only
essential for a person’s wellbeing, but it can also reduce the daily tensions
in a couple. A person who has had a refreshing good nights sleep is ready to
face the day in a good mood and cope better with the little problems of
everyday life.
To
break the routine.
Having separate rooms allows the couple to be in need for each other making the
time together more enjoyable. Think about it… you are in your room all alone
and you are in the mood for love, it is not just a matter of going to your
partner’s room and having a “quickie”. No; you start thinking about the
scenarios, how to invite your partner to your room or how to make him invite
you to his room. You prepare yourself for the encounter: you bathe, shave,
cream, perfume… it becomes like a date where you want to look your best to
leave a long lasting impression.
To
recover some of the freedom of being single. Having your own space can work wonders for your
self esteem. Having your own room is not only a form of independence but I
would say that it is a luxury that you are allowing yourself. Having your own
private space you can recover your own self as you don’t need to think about
the other person when you are there. If you like red and he likes black and you
compromised in decorating your bedroom in green, having your own room brings
both persons the independence of expressing themselves according to their own
taste. Having your private space at home can be very relaxing. Respecting each
other’s taste on decorating their own room is also a form of love.
To
love each other because you want to not because you have to. Having separate rooms to sleep
together is no longer an obligation, it is a pleasure. You sleep with your
partner because you want to and there is not better aphrodisiac than to feel
wanted.
The greatest
single thing you can do in your relationship is get separate bedrooms. She has
all of her stuff in her room decorated the way she wants and the same with him.
The overstuffed closets and drawers are not integrated and it is not
frustrating if the other does not feel like cleaning up for a day or two.
Also, it is great
to choose if you want to sleep next to someone or not. You have one masculine
and one feminine environment to be intimate in and you can "visit"
one another. You can sleep together every night if you want and just change
environments and if you just need to be alone, there is some place to go.
There are many
more benefits I can rattle off but I want to hear from you.
Tell me what you
think.
3 comments:
Sleeping in different rooms is not a good idea at all. Why did get married in d first place. U ve been living alone all ur life and after marriage stil do same. Aside giving births whch brngs diff pple to ur house , here u nd to kp ur matrimonial room from d eyes of dem, as a woman its ur own temple , place of worship dt requires maximum protection from outsiders.
On quickies, before nw my idea on it ws not too good. I ws nvr in support, but when i ws introduce to saturday punch, sex and sexuality section i realise dt quickies is necessary its not only done when in seperate rooms , it cld be in kitchen while cooking, in d bathroom,aftr one mst ve dress down for work and u see ur hubby drawing u back , or in d sitting room, stircase any whr in ur home.
Sleeping in diff rooms can only work perfectly in othr countries whr couples work @ diff hrs, closes early and also have der weekends for dem selves. Bt in Nigeria couples hadly see talk to each othr it's only text msgs or phone cal , dey get home late d man might opt to relax bt d woman mst cook attend to kids also clean d house. D only time she cld discuss wit her husband is bedtime , or weeknd if any of dem does nt work on weekend. They become strangers to dem selfs in der home. Even dey stnd risk of d husband planing things dt d wife wont kno and d dear wife expecially yoruba dt are so cultured to tell der hubby any movement dey wnt to make bt d husband will be so free dt he wont call or brng out his phone. Form d habit of receivng calls only in his bedroom and from der d seperation begins. For u to leave ur hse for marriagge u ve kno reason staying away from each othr. If u can kp seperate room den u kp seperate home wen u need each othr u go knocking. D advantages is far less dn dt of d disadvantages . Snoring, etc shld be tolerated
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